29102005

壹／ 30G
我知你想鬧我，好彩我重病緊。 psp好，nano亦好，但我憧憬的，是肥肥的30G iPod上2.5吋display放著我的mv。本想要60G，可現在甚少做production，加上power book G5的遙遙無期，就不如省下八百給大夫們。其實到最後可能還是不買比較好。

貳／左邊
今天左半身完全不在運作。腳還好，手肘手臂軟得像棉花卻又重得像鐵。午後有一段時間，左腦後方一陣麻痺延至臉頰，以為偏頭痛來訪，原來只虛驚。在辦公室我撐得住，但回家就漰潰了。怎可能連尾指第三節也會痛起來？黐線的嗎？

我極憎這些來歷不明沒完沒了的痛症，雖然我對痛楚的容忍度極高，高至一個你不能想像或瞭解的地步。例如你或者會問，為何我寫得自己如此痛，卻於凌晨四點十三還呆在這裡打字。於是，你開始懷疑我是否誇張誇大，希望搏得三五六個諸如小心身體快D好返等留言。那你就錯了，就是因為你對痛楚與及我的容忍度不瞭解，所以這文不接受留言。誰可能完全感受另一個人的感受。我們的所謂瞭解，只是能將狀況與個人認知作有效配對。個人認知很有限。所以常提醒自己不要自以為事，不要以為自己有太多能力去瞭解，亦不要希望被瞭解。

／Age of Empire III
今天有什麼可以令我沉迷。我希望找得著一種什麼可以令我沉迷的。買下Age of Empire III 的主要目的是希望沉迷，但我怕應該都不能成事。

肆／肆時肆十分
我還在打字。因為我在發脾氣。只是發自己脾氣。唔好意思。明早我就去看中醫，聽聞是奇醫，不用飲藥的。好起來的話就不會再寫這些。

東帝汶呀呀呀

星期日，返中學打左個白鴿轉，呃左一餐 home made risotto食。我估講都無人信，中學同學到今日只有三個有聯絡，但我同校長就OK friend。我都唔知點解。有宗教背景0既人事可能真係包容性強d掛，又或者佢都仲當緊我係問題學生掛，哈哈。其實我讀中學時一d都唔曳，未見過訓導未見過社工未Repeat過，只係少少自閉0者。

原來我畢左業好多年。我走0個年，學校140anniversay，而今年又已經 145．．．校長給了我一本今年出的校刊，第一頁當然係佢篇訓話加佢個頭。我一見就鬧，唔係嘛，好心用張新D 0既相喇陰公。跟住佢個assistant就以極速插咀話：係喇，你同佢影過啦，佢死都要用同一張相呀！原來佢哩五年來出publication，都係用我五年前0係一個function幫佢影落0既一張相。佢仲大大聲話，係呀我係鐘意哩張呀，無新架嘛，無計喇。我話，得得得．．．怕左你，影過。老實，其實我係有少少覺得開心0既。大家唔洗擔心，真係少少0者。張相只係好普通，我唔明點解佢0甘鍾意。

影相．．．我只係哩民到不得之了，雖然話我都做過收錢影相。D人成日以為要勁相機要勁人要勁technique。係鬼，你有眼就得啦。眼又有分先天同後天，你冇先天，後天補啦。影相講關係架，你要同你影0個件野有關係先得0架。

餐 risotto 好味，但亦未及後來的消息令人興奮。每一次見親校長，我梗問有無野搞。今次真係有喎，仲要係兩單堅野。第一單係帶D妹去菲律賓做fair trade。我舉腳呀，等D 0靚知道下佢地口趙緊0個件芒果乾令幾多個人捱緊餓，好過踢佢地去做 bio-dynamic farming喇。同佢地講哩d primary industry無impact架，返到0黎咪又係食飯食到天一半地一半。我報左名，話明齋影相我唔去架，我要做埋個program。

第二單仲勁，去東帝汶呀！無電無水問你死未。0個邊99年內戰燒左好多學校，大部份到今時今日仍未recover到。所以出年十月修會會去起學校同開班。有無人想捐錢？有就話我聽，我去安排。修會唔同樂施會0個d組織，佢地好少好大型咁對外做promotion，所以唔係好多人知哩d野。相反，佢地行政同 marketing都用少左錢，因此善款大部份都可以用0黎做野。

去東帝汶呀呀呀，有無人想去呀呀呀．．．


伸延閱讀：
維基百科／東帝汶

Strong Earthquake Hits Japan

我臨離開香港先話想試下地震，點知真係早走左一日．．．
好彩定唔好彩？

From news.yahoo.com

Strong Earthquake Hits Japan; No Injuries
TOKYO － A strong earthquake rocked eastern Japan late Wednesday, shaking buildings in Tokyo and nearby areas, but there was no immediate report of injuries or damage.

The earthquake, with a preliminary magnitude of 6.5, was centered 24 miles below the sea off the coast of Ibaraki prefecture, the U.S. Geological Survey said. Japan's meteorological agency earlier put the magnitude at 6.2 from the quake, which hit at 8:50 p.m. (7:50 a.m. EDT). There was no danger of tsunami, it added.

Runways at Tokyo's Narita airport closed temporarily but later reopened, Kyodo News agency said. Bullet train service north of Tokyo also was suspended but quickly resumed.

A nuclear power plant in Tokaimura near the quake zone had shut down automatically, according to national broadcaster NHK.

The quake also shook buildings in Ibaraki, Chiba and Fukushima prefectures.
Japan is one of the world's most earthquake-prone countries because it sits atop four tectonic plates. Since the late 1970s, the government has taken measures to strengthen its monitoring of seismic activity, and to coordinate steps with local governments on how to cope with earthquakes.

On Oct. 23, 2004, a 6.8-magnitude earthquake hit northern Japan, killing 40 people and damaging more than 6,000 homes. It was the deadliest to hit Japan since 1995, when a magnitude-7.2 quake killed 6,433 people in the western city of Kobe.

4th day

today was a shopping day. and thank god, WE ARE SAFE!
coz total spending still within budget.

the infinite walking started at 1030.
the first stop was isetan comme corner, the second was isetan comme, third was isetan zucca, forth was isetan limi, fifth was comme flagship, sixth was yohji, seventh was frapbois (yack... just another it...), eighth was margiela, ninth was levi's, tenth was prada (not intented to walk in actually...), and then comme corso como women, and then corso como men, and the comme jan....... but too bad that i have missed undercover... will go back to see tmr. really wanna see how the piled up tees in the display windows. finally we've got 2 comme tee, 1 comme cardigan (gosh.. you won't believe that i've got a red cardigan.....), 1 yohji cardigan (it was super nice, wonder y never have such kind of nice and refine item in hk)

we've seen many things, and then talked about many things. it's definitly not about shopping but the general standard of being, and culture. will write more about that when i get back to a place that i can type chinese.

at nite we went back to shibuya parco. sth at the basement stunned me. that was totally amazing. but i dunno what's that industry is called in english, so will write that later....

visited tokyu hands too. got some tiny stuff. and....... the disaster came when arrived the shop picnic on picnic. miss j became crazy. and we'got a full full full pack of files, pens, folders, note books form there. last stop was beams. surprisingly, items there was very very nice. totally different from hk. and i've 3 things from beams.. waggagaa....

and you know what. we are not afraid of going to any fashion store, coz we know we are far more rational than you (or we ourselves) expected. but we are very afraid of bookstores. we've brough too many books already. books here are nicely printed with a very reasonable price. we cannot control to buy books. but that was heavy........

ai too late and tired tonite. cannot upload photos....
leave it for tmr..... and it's raining cats and dogs here.

@andon/tokyo/japan

very much wanna write but.... cannot type chinese here....
can only articulate with visual thing.
check it out here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/speechlessson/sets/1125533/

will keep uploading pix everyday... lol

可惜不再見

很少看電視。今晚一開電視，聽到的，是梅艷芳在她最後一個演唱會結尾時力竭聲嘶一聲再見。突然一片空白。可惜。何必哩。

很多時翻天覆地的過程才能把一事推到傳奇的層次。但，背後讓人惋惜的實在太多。極端化的人和事通常最吸引我，可我實在要開始學識找個中間位。雖然我常說我做人是沒有中間位的。

個體 vs 集體

Blogflux, Windows Vista, Google sitemap, sidekick將全blog譯做英文的babelfish button, ping過之後引來technorati的click thru。科技發達到一個令我腦袋就快要炸開的地步。但因工作的關係，不得不去嘗試了解。

科技表面上方便用家，實際上成就資本家。網上的程式或桌上使用的軟件，全都是資本家的觸鬚。大堆回饋的data，令資本家可以填補供應的空缺，及創造需求。資本主義就是這麼一回簡單的供求計算。可近日最震盪我的，是關於個體與資本家的關係。

可以影響資本運作的是各種集體行為，而集體由個體組成。但獨立個體並不能影響集體行為，因為相對之下，個體實在太細。再者，集體行為模式的構成，很多時候出於偶然性而不是一種有組織意識的行為。比如說web mail。我們login的時候，一般情況下是理所當然的先讀新來的email。當我們每一個都先讀新email，login先讀新email就變成一個集體的行為模式，但我們並不是約定好大家每一次login都先讀新email，此一種集體行為模式是出於偶然性的相同需要。有了login先讀新 email的集體行為模式，於是google就會推出gmail notifier，為使自己的服務更吻合集體的需要，從而capture更大的market。

注意，是更吻合集體的需要。只有大型的集體才會吸引資本家。獨立個體不能影響大型集體，所以我們有時處於集體當中，有時處於集體之外。哪個體的用處是什麼？個體只是讓資本家判別出不同的大型集體之功具，就此而已。

在一般的消費主義底下，資本家宣揚個體的重要性，因為消費主義大多關於創造需求。要創出一種新的集體行為模式，先要從個體著手，不敖。說到尾，資本家要的是集體，而不是個體。大城市的生活標榜個人主義，但其實個體的影響力近乎零。

我本來想問這是不是只有集體沒有個體。我估我問錯了，資本主義下，個體實在很重要，只是沒有影響力。

MV

一朝早開例會，理所當然地眼訓，唯有靠件奶油多頂一頂住。忽然音樂小組講起方大同，兼播起春風吹，成個醒晒。

第一次聽方大同係電台播南音，本以為陶吉吉出新歌，啊．．．原來係新人。第一次聽確係似陶吉吉，但真係有所謂嘛？唱D野都唔同．．．再者，如果多數唱歌0既人都有陶吉吉0既質素，其實都唔錯下嘛？！

anyway...... 我最maang係．．．唱片公司唔係唔做佢，但係唔係靚仔，當然難做D啦。但若要做，就落多三分力丫。我今朝第一次睇春風吹個MV，嚇死我。

同事話哩個後生仔心地好兼talented，前者我唔知，後者大家有眼睇。但係我想話，不如俾我幫佢拍過個MV先，我有六卷超八0係袋。

阿malayer，見字不如都諗諗佢．．．個MV真係．．．

小企鵝大長征

好睇到不得之了。當然，一來係我本身好鐘意企鵝（企鵝b得意到不得了！），二來我唔怕慢，所以覺得好睇到不得了。最衰太古城個screen唔夠大，如果唔係就會睇得更加開心。

原 來企鵝好慘。齋行廿日再困0係個陸地上面五個月不吃不喝唔係點郁得零下七十度又大風又大雪，為只係為生仔，生完又係要行廿日先再有野食。但係生左個仔出0 黎，佢大0左就會自己走，絕對無孝順哩回事。記住，生仔對企鵝係無快感0既，相反係一個責任，免得自己絕種。勞碌捱餓，從來唔係為自己。好老套，但我知道 自己係幸福0既。

曾經見過一個佬，0係自己icq info裡面寫：
Everybody is a collector. But what we ultimately collect is memory.

我暗kaan笑左佢好耐。第一當然係因為佢concept錯，第二係因為我知佢寫句咁0既野純粹以為自己型0左。用錯concept仲要以為有型，唔笑你哩就有鬼喇．．．

人 係無野帶得走，包括"memory"。人同企鵝於生物鍊裡面的作用大致一樣，你以為我地為自己而活，其實我地只係一個用0黎保住DNA 0既殼。唔同0既係我地認知較多（只係用數量0黎衡量，唔代表人就係叻d）同控制能力較大，而哩D認知同能力就蓋過左人0既本質，令人不知不覺自大起0 黎。死0左就係死0左，死0左就係冇0左，要留住memory唔該用memory stick, sd card, xd card, compact flash等媒介。

雖然話最後係乜都冇，唔代表你要令哩個壽命比你更長0既世界變得更差。如果你覺得世界哩一刻係好的話，你要多謝前人不計較自己最後會乜都冇，而仍然出力令世界更好，令你我可以繼續享受，令人可以繼續。如果你覺得世界哩一刻係唔好的話，你要恨0既亦都係前人只顧自己。

記 住，作為一個殼，有權利享受，亦有義務讓其他殼得以好好繼續，因為你0既權利係建基於人地0既義務。唔洗同我拗，哩個唔係邏輯問題，哩個係個人價值觀問 題，實有人係覺得哩一刻0既自己係最緊要。講到尾，都係老套野，由於到頭來個個殼0既結果都只會一樣，所以過程緊要過結果。與其問你最尾想要D乜，不如問 下自己最尾想俾D乜出0黎。

好激動，所以唔能夠寫得好完整或者文字上冇乜修飾，請諒。


題外話：
野生企鵝生活0係最少零下四十度0既環境，咁夠竟海洋公園班企鵝係點0既哩？要剃毛？定其實．．．係人扮0架？！今個星期六要去研究研究．．．